Crimson Instinct

Chapter 122: You knew?

---

*Xin Lei*

I was keeping a tight watch over Bai Li, who laid on the bed unconscious.

Yes, right now, we were at the hospital. Dawn was just about to break out, and the first ray of sunshine was just beginning to faintly light the ward.

I held his hand firmly in my palms. I stared at his handsome face, which now looked tired and hurt.

I bit my lip. I remembered his state I saw when Tian Song, Liao Huifang, and I barged in the scene.

---

That strange woman...As expected, I saw that same mysterious woman cloaked in black, holding a gun in her hand and pointing it at Bai Li. Zhang Ning and Yi Xing were lying on the ground, both hit with a bullet. Zhang Ning was barely hanging onto her consciousness.

But when I saw Bai Li...I felt as if somebody sucked the soul out of my body. He was clutching his head as if he was in terrible pain. His forehead and the lines of his cheeks were contorted in such a distressed expression as if he was fighting a battle within himself.

At that moment, that woman also noticed us. But to our surprise, she didn't try to fight back. Instead, she escaped. Tian Song immediately went after her.

Bai Li was groaning in pain. I rushed to his side, and that's when I realized that he was sweating like crazy. But I didn't feel even a bit disgusted.

I had a strong urge to cry when I saw Bai Li struggling with his anxiety. Immediately, I hugged him hard.

He was trembling. My skin and dress got soaked in his sweat, but I didn't mind it. At that moment, I could only see how his tall and strong stature seemed so small in my embrace. He was breathing heavily and was about to pass out.

Bai Li.

I patted his head and gently shook him, but it was as if he couldn't feel it at all. I felt my eyes turn sore.

"Bai Li!" Liao Huifang was also worried. "I-is it another attack?"

I tremblingly nodded.

"He looks so pale. We should get him to the hospital. Zhang Ning and Yi Xing are injured too."

---

Tian Song and his team made all the arrangements in the hospital.

I was closely watching Bai Li's condition. A few hours later, when I came back from the restroom, I saw him gasping in his sleep.

I widened my eyes and ran up to him.

"No...don't"

He was mumbling something.

A bad dream?

Suddenly, he shook violently and sucking a large amount of air; he got up.

He looked even paler than before.

"W-what? What is happening?"

I quickly took my phone and typed it. "Bai Li. It's me. Xin Lei."

Bai Li, who seemed in a stupor, turned his head in my direction.

"Xin Lei?"

Instead of typing again, I sat on the bed and hugged him.

"Xin Lei...it's you."

I nodded. I brushed my fingers through his hair, and I noticed that breathing was slowly turning steady and normal.

I felt him wrap his arms around my waist. He buried his face on my neck. We stayed like that for a few minutes.

I said nothing. He said nothing either.

He spoke after a long time and in a deathly quiet voice. "I failed again. Zhang Ning...she-she...that person killed her."

His embrace tightened.

I blinked my eyes.

"I couldn't save her."

I widened my eyes. I quickly typed. "Zhang Ning is alive, Bai Li."

Bai Li stiffened. "What? But that person shot her."

He pulled back and I could see that he looked incredulous.

I typed. "Yes, She was shot, and so was Yi Xing, but Tian Song and his team took you all to the hospital on time. Her surgery just got over, and she is unconscious at the moment."

"So...is she safe?"

I smiled. I typed. "Yes."

His expression eased a bit, but I could still see the lingering stress on his face. I understood he wanted to say something to me. I waited.

"...I got another attack."

I said nothing.

"I tried hard. I really tried to be calm. I did all the tips that Kang Yuan told me. But I still failed."

Silence.

"Xin Lei. I don't think I would be able to cure my-"

I put my finger over his lips. He stopped talking.

I typed. "I know you have tried your best. You don't need to explain anything to me. And don't talk like that."

"How could I not? If not for you coming there in time, then Zhang Ning could really be dead right now. I had no way out."

I stared at him. I typed. "Even if it were the case, it wouldn't be your fault. That woman shot Zhang Ning, not you. You are not guilty."

Bai Li furrowed his brows.

"Woman? It was a woman?"

I typed. "Yes. But she escaped as soon as we reached there."

I thought about something.

"Didn't she talk to you at all?"

He shook his head. "No. I mean yes, but not with her mouth. She used text-to-speech just like you."

I frowned.

That woman didn't talk to me either.

"She must not be wanting to take the risk of anybody recognizing her voice."

I nodded. That explains it.

I cupped his face and lowered his head to rest on my lap.

"En. This feels so comfortable."

I chuckled.

I took his hand and moved his fingers. 'Before you woke up, you seemed to have a bad dream.'

There was a beat of silence.

Bai Li said, "Yes. I had a bad dream. In it, I heard Tan Ye and Zhang Ning blaming me for their death. They were cursing me to die, and they clutched my neck, strangling me."

I tightened my grasp.

I lowered my head and softly kissed his lips. I pressed it for a while before I moved back.

I typed. "Nobody can curse you, not even in your dream. I will protect you."

Bai Li laughed. "Yes. You are so strong. I need you to protect me."

This was the first time I was seeing him acting so coquettishly. I liked this side of his.

I typed. "Bai Li. Don't say that you cannot cure it. PTSD takes time to heal, and you have to give that time to yourself. Even if a little, following Yuan's tips would have calmed you down, just for a moment."

He nodded. "It did. For a few moments, I felt a little better."

I typed. "See? You are getting therestep by step. Don't expect everything to be fine with just one session. Training your mind to think positively in that state takes patience. Don't give up, okay?"

"En."

Then I narrowed my eyes and pinched his cheeks hard.

"Ow! What was that for?" Bai Li seemed aggrieved.

I harrumphed. I typed. "I told you before not to blame yourself, yet you did it again. You didn't listen to me."

Bai Li seemed like a child who did something wrong. He said nothing.

I typed. "How should I punish you?"

Bai Li seemed as if he was seriously thinking. "How about I let you assault me? Strip me and do anything as you please."

I raised my brow and laughed. I typed. "How is that a punishment for you?"

"Of course, it is. A patient should be resting rather than making out. Am I not in the loss here?"

"..."

Bai Li grabbed my head and pulled me towards him. Our lips merged as if they were apart from each other for so long. He clutched my head tighter and deepened the kiss. They meshed against each other again and again.

God knew how long we were kissing madly like that when somebody suddenly barged in.

"Xin Lei! Did Bai Li wake up-"

We froze. Our lips stopped ravaging. It was Liao Huifang. 

"Ughh"

We breathlessly pulled away. I quickly tidied my hair.

Bai Li got up and said, "Why do you always have such horrible timing, Liao Huifang? I swear I would not let your love life go in peace! This is the second time!"

She coughed. "I-I didn't mean to interrupt. And how is that my fault! A patient should be resting instead of making out!"

"Idiot. Xin Lei was punishing me! Why did you have to interrupt!?"

Did you have to confess that?

I looked incredulously at Bai Li.

Liao Huifang was dumbfounded. "How in the world is that a punishment for you! You were clearly enjoying it. Don't take me as a fool. Hmph. But you seem fine since you can argue like that."

Bai Li snorted.

I typed. "Where is Tian Song?"

She looked a bit stiff, and awkwardly smiled.

Is she still scared of him?

I shook my head.

"He is outside. Oh yes. He told me to tell you two that we have to go with him after Bai Li is discharged."

Bai Li asked. "Go where? Oh, wait. Is he taking us to meet Xin Zhen?"

I widened my eyes. I looked at Bai Li, shocked, and so did Liao Huifang.

I typed. "You knew? How do you know that he is working with my brother in the Intelligence Bureau?"