Why Did I Become the Villainess?

Chapter 371  : Letters

 I was now on my way to my room, holding the box of stamps, when the butler called my name. I just finished talking to Lilla, Mairenn, and Cairistine. I was planning to rest for a bit since I was already exhausted.

 But it seems like Mister Butler here has some words he wants to say to me. I look back and smile at him. "Yes? Do you need anything?"

 He looks at the box in my hand for a couple of seconds before he stares at me. "Forgive me for saying this, but let me remind you how important the stamps are for the Lauretré Family, Miss. You cann—"

 I didn't let him finish his words and cut him off. I already know what he wants to say. "I cannot give it to anyone carelessly. I know that. But don't you worry." I open the box and show him my stamps. "As you can see, I still have my stamp with our family insignia. I only give them my normal stamp that they can only be used in the Foundation."

 The Butler stares at me for a couple of seconds before he nods his head. "Apologies, I just want to make sure you are not making another mistake, Miss. The Count and the Countess are already having trouble because of what you did the other day. I hope you can refrain from doing things that will not just worry the Count and Countess but also drag the whole Lauretré family down." After he said those words, he bowed his head and left.

 I look in the direction where he walks to and frowns. Drag the whole Lauretré Family down? What does he mean by that?  Does he know that I have a connection with Mister Sewell?

 I shake my head. That is impossible. Mister Sewell and I were both careful when we were meeting each other. There is no way someone will know about it.

 Maybe he just said those words because of what I did. If the people know I sneak out, I'm sure it will not only affect my reputation but also the name of the Lauretré Family. n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

 I nod my head in agreement. "I am sure that is the reason. Don't overthink too much, Csille. I'm sure he was just worried about the Lauretré Family." I softly said to myself.

 I look in the direction where the butler went before entering my room. I put the box of stamps on my bedside table and slump my body on my bed.  What happened today made me think about the future. Soon things will change, and if I continue to associate myself with the Foundation and to anyone, it will bring trouble to all of them.  "I should probably do something now before it will be too late for me to save them."

 I get up and walk to my table. I need to write letters for the Foundation, for Lady Nahale, and for the Lauretré Family.

 I smile bitterly at myself. Even if I don't want to cut ties with any one of them, I need to do this to save everyone from their demise. I couldn't bear to see them suffer in the future.  I heaved a deep sigh and started to write a letter for the Foundation first.

Hope Foundation,

 I, Csille Lauretré, am hereby renouncing my position as the current Founder and owner of the Hope Foundation. From this day on, the Hope Foundation has nothing to do with me, Csille Lauretré.  As to whoever the Foundation belongs to, I am delegating Lord Pascal Lauretré as the new Founder and owner of the Hope Foundation.

Your former Founder,

Csille

 I reread the letter and smiled bitterly at myself. I am sure everyone in the Foundation will be sad about this news, but at least I know I will be handing down the Foundation to someone I can trust. I just hope they will accept this letter. I also hope Brother Pascal will accept this.

 I took my stamp with the Lauretré insignia and stamped it on the letter. I also put a signature on it. It is to ensure that I am the one who wrote this letter. In using this stamp, one needs the owner's signature so the stamp can be valid.

 After ensuring that everything was okay with the letter, I put it aside and started to write the letter for Lady Nahale. Mt. Carmen Tribe,

 I, Csille Lauretré, am abdicating my position as the secondary chieftess of Mt. Carmen. From this day onwards, I am no longer associated with them. Whether they live or die has nothing to do with me. Csille

 What I have written might sound rude to them. But this is the only way I can think of to make it clear to everyone that I am no longer connected with them. It is to ensure that no one will touch them even if I become the mortal enemy of the Vrawyth Kingdom.

 A lot of people have already died because of me. I don't want to involve another group of innocent people with this. They don't deserve that after the kindness I have received from them.

 I take another blank paper and write the words I want to say to Lady Nahale. Dearest Lady Nahale,

 Forgive me if I cannot keep my position as the head chieftess. Know that even if I give it up, I was honored to be a part of your tribe. However, I need to give the position up already because I don't think I deserve it.  I am sorry for breaking the trust you have all given to me. As for the promise I have made, take this banknote. I know this is not what I have promised, but I hope with this, you can at least do something for the tribe. Don't worry. I have prepared the project for the tribe. I will hand it to the next owner of the Foundation, and he will be the one who'll do it for me.

 I am glad I was given an opportunity to meet you. I hope we can see each other again, but I guess that will be a dream now. Take care of yourself, Lady Nahale.

Sincerely,

Csille

 I couldn't stop myself from crying after writing the letter to Lady Nahale. I couldn't help but be in pain every time I thought of what will their reaction be if they were reading this letter. I am sure everyone will be disappointed with me.  I laugh bitterly. "Csille, why are you crying? You already know that everything will end in this, right? So, why are you crying like a baby now? Don't cry, stupid! Crying won't solve anything. So, why would you waste your tears on this?"

 I put the two letters in a separate envelope and put banknotes of a few million centimes in Lady Nahale's letter.  After making sure everything is okay, I slump my head on my table and cry. It hurts. I didn't expect a letter would hurt me this much.

 I don't think I can write a letter to the Lauretré Family. I don't think I am strong enough to break their hearts.  I cried for half an hour before I got the courage to write letters to the family I love the most. The family that I never had in the real world.

 With a trembling hand, I took a paper and started to write on it. To the Lauretré Family,

 I, Csille Lauretré, am cutting my connection with the Lauretré Family. Starting from now, I am no longer part of the Lauretré Family. I will be Csille and nothing else more.  Csille

 I put the letter on the side and wrote letters for Mother, Father, and Brother Pascal. The first letter I have written will be posted on the announcement board of the capital. It is to ensure that everyone will know about this. The letter for the Foundation and for the Mt. Carmen Tribe will also be posted on the announcement board.  I didn't plan to send them to their respective receiver because I was worried that they would not release this letter to the public. That's why I decided to do this. It is to ensure that everyone will know all of this.  I take another blank paper and write again. But this time, it is a letter for Mother, Father, and Brother Pascal. Dear Mother and Father,  I know by the time you are reading this, I am already on the other side. I'm sorry, Mother and Father. I'm sorry if I need to do this. I know what I am doing is wrong, but I don't have a choice. I was badly hurt, and this was the only thing that could ease that pain.  I know you are both hurting too, and I am sorry. I'm sorry if I disappointed both you and Father. I'm sorry for all the mistakes I have done in the past. I wish I could be the daughter you can be proud of, but I know it's too late for me now. There is no turning back already.

 Mother, I always love you, and I am thankful for having a mother like you. I hope you know that. But I hope in the future, you can forget about me. I don't want you to suffer for your whole life. All I want for you is to be happy. So, can you do that for me?

 Father, if you are reading this, I want to tell you how proud I am as your daughter. I love you so much, but I'm sorry if I need to ruin everything our ancestors have done. I'm sorry for hurting you. But can you do me a favor? If we ever meet in the battle, please don't hesitate to kill me because if you don't, someone will kill you, and I don't want that.  And please take care of Mother for me. As much as I want to remain by your side through your remaining years, I need to say goodbye now. Know that you two will always be the special people in my life, and even if I am not a Lauretré anymore, in my heart, you will always be my Mother and Father.

 I know I have been asking for too much already. However, if I ever die. Can you promise me not to mourn for me? Can you promise me not to do anything to get my body?  I am begging you. Don't look for me anymore.

Csille

 It took me time before I could finish writing that letter because my tears couldn't stop from falling. So, I need to wipe it from time to time to prevent it from wetting the letter. But I guess I did a lousy job because tears stains are still visible on the paper.

 I let myself cry for a few minutes before I take another blank paper again. This will be the last letter I will be writing for today.  I heave a deep sigh first before I start writing it. Dearest Lord Pascal,

 I am sorry for leaving everything in your care. I know you don't want these responsibilities, but you are the only person I can think of. Please take care of the Foundation. I have organized everything there so it won't be difficult for you to adjust. As for my heir for the Lauretré, please take it. You are more deserving than I am, and please take care of the Lauretré family. I want to hear someday that you made your own little heirs and heiresses. So please find a good wife and make your own family. Even without me.

 I'm sorry, Brother. I'm really sorry for everything. I know I haven't been a good cousin to you, and I wish I could have spent more time with you. But I guess it is all wishful thinking now. I am too late now.

 Brother, I love you, and I am proud of what you have become. I wish in the next life you would be my real brother. If we ever have next life.

 Brother, do you remember the promise you have made to me before? When I asked you to take care of everything for me? This is the time, Brother. Once I am gone, please don't look for me. I already told Mother and Father about it, but I am worried they would still look for me. So, please stop them. Do anything to stop them. This is the only way the Lauretré family can be saved.

 Also, can you help Mother and Father to forget about me? I don't want all of you to suffer for the mistakes I have made. So, please forget about me. Live a happy life and forget my existence.

Csille,

 After writing the last letter, I put the letter in a safe place. These letters will be sent at the right time.  I know I don't have control over what is happening in this world, but I just want to do my best to save all the people I care about. Even if that means breaking my ties with all of them.

 I slumped my body on my bed and cry. Writing those letters hurts me soo much. But I know this pain cannot be compared to the pain I will be feeling in the future.

 I am sure it is more than this pain I am feeling right now.