The Kind Older Sister Is No More

Although her heart desired something else, she tried to give a rational and realistic answer. But why? Even though her words were not wrong, Irene was hurt by what she had said.

Why am I hurt?

Did she really want to be his strength?

I’m such a fool.

It could never happen. It was just a vain expectation. Moreover, since their relationship was bound by a contract in the first place, it was through and through, a professional relationship, like that of colleagues, or at most friends. He might feel uncomfortable if she carried alternative motives. But...  Why was it so painful?

Irene stop. Your expectations are futile.

Her previous experience of having cherished hope then witnessing it all come crashing down, was more than enough for her. Keeping that in mind, she forced herself to cut off those kinds of thoughts, and stilled herself. If she did not have expectations, she would not get hurt.

However…

“There’s more.”

“Pardon?”

“The reason you mentioned was not all. Of course, it is undeniable that you gave me hope to inherit the Grand Duchy back when I had no future, but now…just looking at Irene gives me strength. Because you are a much greater person than you think."

Irene thought Noel was a perfect man without any shortage. But it was the same for Noel. She did not give up despite her unfavourable circumstances and came running to himself first. While he was drowning in despair, she was paving her own path.

What would he be like now if she had not come up to him first and held on to him on the night of the ball? He might still be lamenting about his situation now. Without any hope.

Therefore, to him, Irene was his miraculous hope and strength that suddenly appeared on that one destined day.

But to put all these thoughts into words, even if he used all sorts of rhetoric, it would still not be enough to express his innermost feelings for her. No matter how hard it was to convey, in the end, it was the way one chose to say it that mattered -- ‘you are a much greater person than you think’.

//Noel’s kind of slow & clumsy ngl, but he is very cute haha.

Noel was a bit embarrassed, but he wanted to fully convey his feelings, so he looked straight into her olive-green eyes.

“Oh.” Irene stared blankly at Noel, and was barely able to utter a word. Her face heated up quickly.

She never imagined that Noel would say such a thing. Because she did not expect it, it was so sudden that her brain temporarily stopped processing for a moment. Not even aware that she should respond to him, she just stared blankly at Noel.

A few minutes of silence passed, and as her thoughts began to rotate again, little by little, Irene became overwhelmed with emotions.

Did I feel touched?

But she could not figure out the exact nature of that feeling. It seemed that she was moved, but the feeling was strangely different. Even though they were similar, their emotions were subtly different.

“I didn’t mean to burden you, I just wanted to let Irene know that I think so.”

“It’s not a burden at all!” Irene strongly denied Noel's words. Far from being burdened, she was filled with joy. She had never heard such a kind remark in her life. It was so hard to control her emotions that she jumped out of her seat.

“I do not find it burdensome. Rather, I am glad.”

She was extremely happy because he thought of herself as highly as she thought of him. Noel did not expect Irene to be so pleased, so he was slightly surprised when he saw her enthusiastic reaction. As Irene came back to her senses, she tried to sit down, but at that moment…

‘KA-CHAK.’

The carriage violently shook. Did they hit a stone stairwell? Irene lost her balance and stumbled as the carriage rattled down the road. She would have fallen had Noel not quickly hugged her toward him, to stabilise her. She was shocked. Momentarily because she had almost fallen whilst sitting down in a carriage -- how embarrassing, but then for a while after as she released where his hands were placed.

She looked at him stiffly, feeling the heat rise from her neck. Noel gripped her shoulder and wrist tightly. She noted that his arm around her was particularly strong and firm.

“It’s dangerous to try and stand when the carriage is moving.” he looked a little worried and uneasy.

Irene being stared at by those deep hazel eyes, could only find the words to apologise. Their position was too awkward and asking him to remove his hand would make both of them realise how awkward it was.

“Oh, sorry…”

“...”

“...”