The Exorcist

Book 8: Chapter 25: Before the Battle

No one brought up the Calamity of Threes.

The day before the showdown, everyone went about their own business in Jingshi Town. Yet avoiding the topic meant the matter weighed on their hearts. It just meant they didn’t express it.

Uncle Bao wandered around the foot of Ironhead Mountain, hesitating over whether to go see his old friend one last time. Tomorrow, his best friend would thoroughly vanish from the world. Him surviving would mean an even greater disaster. He would be a demon, no longer the original Ruan Tian Yi. Therefore, he was going to lose this only friend of his, regardless what happened. This ordinary friend with an extraordinary heart. This friend, who had ferried over countless resentful spirits, and ended up forcing himself into a dead end!

Daoism is the way of nature, and so was life and death. He should be able to accept it. However, men were ultimately not immortals. He couldn’t remain aloof in face of their many years of friendship. How could he accept it? After thinking it over, he still decided to meet his old friend again, even if it was just to exchange a few words from a distance. Considering the length of their friendship, he should at least say something before sending him off.

Meanwhile, Bao Da Tong was still training hard inside the town. Although Wan Li had told him to relax a little, he wasn’t able to sit still. If they were going to fight enemies and exterminate monsters, he would probably be very excited. Yet the thought of participating in the tragedy of patricide tomorrow left him uneasy. In fact, Wan Li was also very uneasy. Although he appeared to be reading calmly in his chair, he hadn’t turned a page in a while. His mind was clearly elsewhere. Ruan Zhan and Xiao Xia had already gone out. The two of them walked hand in hand through the small town, happily exploring every corner of it. Although they didn’t say a word along the way, their eyes remained on each other, and their fingers were interlocked. It seemed that every glance at each other deepened the impression in their hearts. They didn’t return to the inn until late at night.

Lying quietly in Ruan Zhan’s arms, Xiao Xia’s mind was in turmoil and she was unable to fall asleep. Her head nestled against his chest. Although she could hear his steady breathing and feel his strong and regular heartbeat, Xiao Xia could still sense the conflict within his heart, as if those painful and complex emotions were tangible. Anyone would find the task tomorrow daunting, let alone Ruan Zhan who was one of the involved parties. Although it was for his father’s sake, and had all been arranged by him, how could he bring himself to do it? And what if his life was really in danger? Will she really lose him?

Ever since she found out about the situation, she had bolstered her mind, telling herself he would definitely be fine. She also wasn’t going to let him leave like that. She kept telling herself this over and over again, but as the date approached and the showdown loomed, her blind confidence suddenly collapsed. During the day, she tried her best to act normal, as if she had everything under control. But on this chilly spring night, as his warmth and breath gently enveloped her, she suddenly feared that this beautiful moment might be their last, and she really feared losing him.

If he really died, she couldn’t follow him. Despite how much she loved her and the fact she might be better off dead without him, she couldn’t ignore her aging parents, or transfer her pain of loss to others by dying herself. Moreover, even if she were to die for love, she had neither spirit power or resentment. Her soul might dissipate quickly and it would be impossible for her to accompany him forever. What was she to do then? Should she learn from Lu Yan, give birth to Ruan Zhan’s son, then do as Ah Bai did and marry a ghost husband? No, she didn’t want to live in different worlds, unable to touch each other despite their love. She wanted to hold him, kiss him, spend time with him under the sun while growing old together. Therefore, she couldn’t be pessimistic. She had to be tough, and trust that she was his miracle!

Xiao Xia gently shifted Ruan Zhan’s arm from her waist, turning over to hug him, to feel his presence and warmth. But as she turned around, she saw him quietly watching her with his eyes open, as if he couldn’t bear to blink. His deep eyes were full of tenderness and affection, causing her own eyes to suddenly fill with a layer of mist.

“I will always love you.” He spoke softly, and his voice struck straight at her heart, leaving her momentarily speechless. Her newly established, slightly fierce determination vanished once again. She only felt an indescribable sadness, as if he was bidding her farewell.

Xiao Xia reached out to touch his face, wanting to say something reproachful or coquettish, but before she could say anything, Ruan Zhan suddenly closed his eyes, seemingly falling asleep in an instant, which gave Xiao Xia a start.

“Ah Zhan, Ah Zhan!” Xiao Xia pushed him a couple of time. But Ruan Zhan was so soundly asleep he didn’t show any signs of waking up.

There wasn’t any accident, was there? He has always been a light sleeper, easily awakened by the slightest noise. How could he be sleeping so soundly now? She touched his chest, feeling his heart still beating strong and steadily. She pushed him a few more times but he still didn’t react. It was as if he had passed out. Could he really be that tired? Was this really due to his physical and mental exhaustion?

Xiao Xia hurriedly got up, planning to call Uncle Bao who was next door to take a look. However, before she could sit up, a shadowy figure appeared in the air. It didn’t emerge from the walls or windows with a twisted appearance, but rather appeared instantly and gracefully.

“Don’t be scared.” He said.

Xiao Xia hurriedly covered her mouth and swallowed the scream back into her stomach. Does she know him? Although she couldn’t see his face clearly, the voice and her intuition told her the shadow was Ruan Zhan’s father Ruan Tian Yi.

She instinctively turned and held Ruan Zhan, staring guardedly at the shadow in case the elder harmed her beloved. But upon closer inspection, she realized that Father Ruan stood facing away from her. He now completely turned his back to her, and seemed to have no malicious intent.

“I am not here to hurt him.” Father Ruan seemed to know what she was thinking. He spoke slowly, a smile and relief in his voice. “I just came to look at him, and also to thank you and apologize. Can you put on some clothes first? It’s still very cold at night here.”

Xiao Xia was startled and realized that she was still naked. Although she had been hiding under the covers and hadn’t come out, she was still extremely embarrassed. She looked around. Her clothes had been tossed somewhere during the earlier bouts of passion. Luckily, the oversized bathrobes were still there. She hurriedly put them on and turned on a lamp.

“What’s wrong with him?” Xiao Xia hurriedly asked as Father Ruan turned back around since her appearance was a little awkward.

“Nothing. I just put him to sleep for a bit. That child is exhausted. He’s always been exhausted.” Father Ruan walked to the bed as he spoke.

All the other spirits she had seen drifted rather than walked. She had never seen one walk steadily like Father Ruan, seeming no different from a human. Furthermore, he had also been able to put Ruan Zhan, who had such strong spirit power, to sleep without him noticing. His strength was extraordinary, and he was clearly very difficult to deal with. Xiao Xia was now even more worried about the battle tomorrow. But she didn’t understand why he had come today. Less than a day remained until the cruel battle between father and son. What was the point of being calm when only one could live?

Father Ruan stood before Ruan Zhan’s sleeping figure. With a gesture, Ruan Zhan flipped over so he was facing upwards. Then he just stood there blankly watching, silent for a long time.

“He was like this as a child too, extremely still when sleeping.” He suddenly spoke right when Xiao Xia thought he would stand there forever. “He wasn’t like the other children who tossed and turned or talked in their sleep. He didn’t even struggle to get up in the morning. He got out of bed as soon as you woke him. He didn’t whine, and was more mature than an adult. But he was only five at the time. Quite pitiful, right?”

Xiao Xia didn’t speak, but her heart clenched.

Father Ruan didn’t seem to be waiting for her response, and continued speaking. “In my life, he’s the only one I’ve ever let down. When I had him, I hadn’t planned on considering him as my flesh and blood. I just wanted him to become a killer. One specialized in killing me and the evil spirits I failed to purify. That’s really vile, right? But it wasn’t for my own sake. I feared the years of accumulated evil aura would reemerge. That would be quite the problem. They would cause harm in various ways. Remember those fiend children? They attached themselves to people and lived in the mortal realm, harming countless families and innocents. And those were just two relatively harmless evil spirits. If a large number of spirits with deeper resentment flooded the mortal realm, the consequences would be unimaginable. He was born to prevent precisely this outcome. Fearing that any feelings between us would prevent him from acting in the end, I had a spirit drop him at a random household after he was born, not even sparing him a glance.” He suddenly stopped speaking at this point, reaching out to gently caress Ruan Zhan’s face as if it were the most precious treasure. He was filled with parental love, but unfortunately his hand couldn’t make contact and each movement was in vain.

Xiao Xia realized that he had endured everything alone for so many years. Now, on the eve of farewell, he poured out all his sorrows. Therefore, she remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

“But that spirit who dropped him off came back one day, telling me the couple who adopted Ah Zhan didn’t treat him that well. Ever since they realized he had innate abilities, they tried to get rid of him as if he were a stray dog. Only then did I realize in order to repay my past kindness, that spirit never left Ah Zhan’s side and secretly protected him the whole time. If it weren’t for that spirit, Ah Zhan might have been abandoned somewhere, and I might never have found him again. Despite being unwilling, I had no choice but to take Ah Zhan back. He was only five years old, a beautiful child, but his eyes were cold and filled with wariness towards everything. He seemed to be covered in thorns, and was very unapproachable. I felt extremely conflicted when I saw his appearance. On one hand, I felt happy because I had hoped he would become this way: distrustful, ruthless and sharp, aloof and unscrupuless. Only thus could he fulfill his destiny and destroy the evil aura along with me, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. On the other hand, he was still a child. He had never experienced anything good in his life. I treated even the worst malevolent spirits kindly, so why must I treat him so cruelly? I asked myself, what right did I have to use his life for my own sake? Although I had no other choice, wasn’t this too unfair to him?”

Father Ruan’s voice was filled with self-blame and conflict. He turned his head to look at Xiao Xia, his eyes filled with extreme remorse. Xiao Xia really wanted to say he had been too selfish, but she couldn’t do it. Life was unpredictable. Father Ruan meant well but ended up making this mistake. Now, he had even lost his own life and was facing eradication. He didn’t do it out of selfish reasons. Even if Ruan Zhan were awake, could he blame his father? There was only helplessness.

“I desperately reminded myself not to love him, or even develop any feelings for him, and vice versa. It was even better if he hated me. That way, during his Calamity of Threes, he would be more decisive and have a better chance at survival. But i forgot that the bond between father and son couldn’t be severed by human effort. Neither of us could treat the other heartlessly or ungratefully. At some point, I ended up loving him deeply, no less than any other father loved  their children. Despite the child’s cold appearance, he had a hot temperament which I hadn’t expected. When I discovered he had become friends with Wan Li, I considered putting an end to the friendship but ultimately didn’t.”

“Thank you.” Xiao Xia suddenly said.

“What for?” Father Ruan was very surprised and looked strangely at Xiao Xia.

“Thank you for not cutting off their friendship. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have had even that bit of warmth.  If it weren’t for Wan Li, I also wouldn’t have met him, so I have to thank you.”

“I should be the one thanking you. That’s also one of the reasons I came. Father Ruan smiled, making Xiao Xia feel that he was extremely kind, “When I previously foretold his life, I only sensed loneliness, which made me uneasy even when I was feigning death underground. But after he met you, I could sense his happiness. He loves you very much, more than his own life. Although this relationship will be very short-lived, at least he did not come to this world in vain. Unfortunately, he cannot stay with you forever. This is where I need to apologize to you. Although it means little, I still want to say sorry to you. You’ve given my son warmth and love, but unfortunately, due to my circumstances, I can’t let you be together. I’m very sorry. Actually, I thought about giving up the plan to have Ah Zhan fight me, but if I become a demon, he still won’t survive. I wouldn’t be in control of myself, and I would first start killing those closest to me. Even you won’t be spared. Since this is the case, let us father and son bear everything. It’s just that it will be hard on you.”

“No, he won’t die. Even if he does, I will bring him back.” Xiao Xia firmly said to Father Ruan, and also to herself, “You said that if there was a miracle, he could survive. I will create a miracle for him.”