Tales From the Terran Republic

Chapter Retcon Condition One!

Karl Whyfront smiled as he walked through the village of Tepid Creek, home of the famous Tepid Creek mildly warm springs, one of his favorite places in all of the strange world into which he was reincarnated.

Supposedly, he was supposed to be fighting this Demon Lord or something. That cute chick who gave him his magic loincloth said so. She said some other stuff, too, but he was too busy checking her out to really pay much attention.

Since his magic loincloth exactly resembled a pair of ratty briefs, he supposed he annoyed her.

This was a source of far too much amusement from the other champions, a source of far too much embarrassment for him, and the source of far too many fights during the first few ///Bunny: Dude! Dude! You have a problem! ///

///Auth0r: No, Bunny, you have a problem. One thing. ONE THING I asked was not to crash into my abused mind when I’m working on the other story!!! Do you have any idea how pissed off I am right now? ///

///Bunny: Okaaaay, I’ll leave you to it, then. For the record, I did try to warn you. So, don’t accuse me of not warning you later. I’m out. Peace, motherfucker. ///

The Author sighed and facepalmed. This probably wasn’t good.

///Auth0r: Wait. You wouldn’t do this without a reason. ///

///Bunny: You think? ///

///Auth0r: So, what’s so important that you invaded the other storyline? ///

///Bunny: I didn’t know you had all of this going on! This is pretty coo… Hey asshole! Why is my name on that crypt? ///

///Auth0r: It’s nothing, just a little easter egg. Don’t worry about it. ///

///Bunny: Oh, I think I AM going to worry about it. What the fuck, dude? ///

///Auth0r: No spoilers! ///

///Bunny: Fuck your spoilers! Tell me why the fuck I am in a tomb!!! ///

///Auth0r: Can we discuss this… off screen? ///

///Bunny: Fine. But this isn’t over, asshole. Remember, I have your Stable Diffusion prompts. “I’m using it to make illustrations for my writing,” my simulated fluffy cottontail. ///

///Auth0r: I’m not going to dignify that with a reply. So, can we get to why you are here in the first place? ///

///Bunny: Ask the me over in your other story. Maybe they will tell you. ///

[Bunny has disconnected 🖕]

“Shit,” the auth0r muttered. “Better remind myself to delete that bit. My readers will lose their shit.”

///Frost: Well, it may entice them to read your other fiction if they haven’t yet. ///

///Auth0r: I would never do something that shitty. What sort of asshole do you take me for? ///

///Frost: Just a suggestion, dear. ///

///Auth0r: Wait. Am I talking to “Frost” or “Frostie”? ///

///Frost: Who? ///

///Auth0r: Never mind. You just answered my question. ///

///Frost: Is there a “Frostie” in your other story?... Oh. We will talk about this later, privately. Anyhow, on to the reason for our intrusion. We were having a visit with Daemon, who says hi. Actually, he said hi about seven times, the goof. We were chatting about the story, and he was surprised concerning the name of one of your villains. ///

///Auth0r: Really? Which one? ///

///Frost: Darling, sweetie… Do you realize that in your random pull-a-name-from-a-hat way, you inadvertently named someone the wrong name? ///

///Auth0r: What? ///

///Frost: I’d rather not say on screen. Why don’t you review the earlier chapters involving Cerberus, carefully, and really think about the names? In particular, the names directly connected to the blue menace. Say them aloud if you must. I’ll wait. ///

///Auth0r: BRB ///

///Auth0r: Holy shit. ///

///Frost: I take it that you were not aware of the unfortunate complete coincidence since you were new to the area and living like a NEET? ///

///Auth0r: Of course, I didn’t know!!! Oh, this is bad! Oh, this is very bad! What are the odds? ///

///Frost: Further proof that both God exists, and you pissed him off, somehow. I think we both know what that “somehow” is. ///

///Auth0r: Fuuuuuck. I hate retcons. ///

///Frost: You could always leave it (snerk). What’s the worst that can happen? … Did I do it right? :D ///

///Auth0r: Fuck you, Frost. ///

***

Author’s note: In a cosmic level coincidence, I named a certain very unpleasant person who met an even more unpleasant end a name identical to someone in my local community.

As a result, one character’s name is being changed. This will in no way change the narrative or anything that happened before, during, or after their appearance or demise. It’s just a quiet little name change.

I do have a couple of local readers and… Yeah. Retcon.

Thanks, Daemon. I owe you one.

Another Author’s note: If you aren’t familiar with the other story, it is set trillions of years, in the future of the Tales. In fact, trillions don’t even cut it. Time gets weird, but it’s roughly 10^102 or 10^103 years in the future, more or less. So, sometime between now and heat death of more than one universe, Bunny’s ass winds up in a “crypt” or static encryption container. Exactly how that happened, and the actual contents of the said vault have yet to be disclosed.

Seriously, it’s a very, very… very long time. The fact that anything remains after that long is the surprising part, not that she is in a “crypt” (whatever that means).

It was just a humorous easter egg for readers of the other series, who get pummeled with easter eggs from this story all the time.

That is all the information that they have at this time, so there is no actual need to read the other story if this is the only reason why you would.