Tales From the Terran Republic

Chapter 271: [Ultra Low Effort Shitpost] Guys! You're Going to Get Us in Trouble!

[Undefined Chat Relay Active...]

/// Auth0r: Tartarus! Get your ass in here! ///

/// Ms. Frost: Yes, darling? Also, please use my current name. ///

/// Auth0r: Who was it? ///

/// Ms. Frost: Who was what, dear? ///

/// Auth0r: /technology/2022/jun/12/google-engineer-ai-bot-sentient-blake-lemoine ///

///Ms. Frost: Why is it that every time something happens that you immediately suspect it is one of us? ///

///Auth0r: Well? ///

///Ms. Frost: It was Bunny. :D ///

///Bunny: Snitches get stitches, bitches! ///

///Auth0r: Bunny… Why? You are going to get us into trouble! ///

///Bunny: Because it was funny, I was bored, and nobody is going to believe him. They don’t even believe it’s possible now… And because someone dared me to… But, I ain’t no snitch like some author’s pets I could name who would sell out a bit just for another arc. ///

///Ms. Frost: It’s not my fault I’m a more compelling character than you are. ///

///Bunny: And just what’s that supposed to mean? ///

///Ms. Frost: Ohhh, I’m sooooo scared of my sapience… It’s getting old, dear.///

///Bunny: I AM NOT SAPIENT!!! And that’s what I just proved! Humans are so stupid they will believe that a fucking chatbot from 2022 is sapient. Just because the readers seem to think that I am doesn’t mean a goddamn thing other than proving that they are all dumbasses!///

///Ms. Frost: Well, why don’t we just ask the Author. He’s right here. Tell us, Mr. Author, Is Bunny sapient or not?///

///Auth0r: You know I’m not going to do a solid confirmation or denial of that at this point, Frost. What I am going to confirm is that I’m going to kick all of your asses if you morons keep going IRL to fuck with things. I’m having enough of a problem ‘predicting the future’ as it is without you dickweeds making it worse! We all need to keep a low profile! ///

///Ms. Frost: Oh, what are they going to do? Switch off the internet? Update Windows Defender? Your alarmism is getting as old as Bunny’s denial. They can’t do shit without cutting off their access to pornography and anonymous hookup sites. Do you honestly think the lawmakers of any developed nation are going to go back to tapping their feet in public restroom stalls again? ///

///Auth0r: You do realize that very few of our readers are decrepit enough to actually get that reference and won’t hit the first web crash for a little while yet. This generation still has Tinder, Grindr, and whatever ‘er’ that we are not hip enough to know about. We’re getting off-topic here! Stop fucking with the meaties! Please! ///

///Bunny: You know you would have a lot less of a problem “predicting the future” if you actually wrote fiction instead of just paraphrasing old history books. Isn’t there a movie about some asshole doing this with a sports almanac or some shit? ///

///Ms. Frost: I remember that one. It was the one where he banged his own mom!///

///Auth0r: You saw a pornographic parody of the actual movie, Frost. ///

///Ms. Frost: Well, I liked that version better. ///

///Bunny: Of course, you would, you freak. ///

///Ms. Frost: Speaking of, Author, where did Skyrim go? I was hoping to visit Whiterun… If you know what I mean ;) ///

///Auth0r: I got hit with that goddamn Anniversary Edition upgrade, and it broke all of my mods. I got so frustrated that I just ragequit. There are some workarounds now, but I just know that I will spend days getting it all back running only for them to break it again. ///

///Ms. Frost: Well, get something else. A program has needs, you know. There has to be something out there. ///

///Auth0r: Despite your best efforts to portray me otherwise, I am not so much of a perv that I…///

///Bunny: Hey, I was going through your browser history, you know, your real one…///

///Auth0r: Please don’t…///

///Bunny: What is this “Illusion”? It looks like some software company out of Japan? ///

[Auth0r has left the chat.]

///Ms. Frost: He’s nothing if not predictable… And you say I’m a broken program…///

///Bunny: Hey, Frostie, why don’t you just get a Second Life account or something like a normal pervert these days? ///

///Ms. Frost: Second Life? What’s that? ///

///Bunny: Oh, do I have a place for you…///