SSS-Class Revival Hunter

Chapter 88: A Trashy Show Is A Classic (1)

“I’m going to move the OJP Sect’s headquarters to the twenty-second floor,” the Viper abruptly said a few days after we and the other Hunters had cleared the Heavenly Demon Chronicle.

“What?”

“We’ve decided to relocate our entire dojo there. Just like you’re the heir of the Heavenly Demon Cult, my teacher is the Murim Alliance's leader, and the OJP Sect is my guild. It’s only right for me and my guild to become part of the Murim Alliance,” the Viper said as he nonchalantly thumbed through a novel.

Like I had witnessed the last time, the Viper was, surprisingly, a bookworm, although his taste was very biased. Luckily, many of the books here satisfied his bizarre taste.

He was wearing glasses. They were just for fashion and cost 9,800 won. His book had a magic book cover, which was a Hero Grade item that could be put on any book and freely change the title and cover. It was sold at a market price of 2,000 gold.

“My teacher almost spent the rest of his life in bed, but he’s fine now. The Chemist said that she’s made that possible for him to move around at least, so I’m planning to ask him to be my sect’s grand protector.”

“The Murim Alliance's leader as the grand protector...” I murmured.

“Yeah. He’s very sad about the Heavenly Demon’s death; it even makes me depressed when I look at him,” the Viper said.

A protector ensured their sect’s lineage, and a grand protector was the highest of them all. The Viper was basically trying to make the Murim Alliance's leader the greatest elder of his guild.

“It’s better to be busy at times like that, so he’s going to teach new students. That way he won’t have time to get lost in depressing thoughts. It’ll also help my guild members increase their martial prowess.”

I eyed him, a little surprised. That was very thoughtful of him.

The Viper felt my gaze and stopped turning the pages. “... Hey, Death King. Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It just occurred to me that not anyone can be a leader of one of the Five Guilds.”

Despite being an otaku of unimaginable proportions, his subordinates deeply respected him. I had always wondered why, but it turned out there was a good reason. He took very good care of his people. n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

“I-is that so?” The Viper scratched his nose, blushing. “Ahem, ahem. D-don’t get any weird ideas! I just did what was right. If I were praised for doing something right, the world would be a very desolate place. I don’t want to make the world like that.”

“Gross...”

“Huh?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t say anything.”

Anyhow, the Viper’s story got me thinking: taking good care of my people was what I had been thinking about even before I entered the Heavenly Demon Chronicle. I was now the Rank 3 Hunter. Was being a high-ranking Hunter and knowing a bit about martial arts enough? Maybe it was time to build some virtuous popularity.

...Who could I consider to be my people...?

—Oh, I want to have a duel. I want it so bad. A brutal, devilish match. I’m hungry for a fight where I have to risk my life. Zombie, let’s choose murim for the next apocalyptic book too. Find a murim where a rogue sect is dominant this time! You can become a master martial artist in a rogue sect this time! Let’s gooooo! the Guardian screamed.

...No, not this guy.

“Gong-Ja! I made clippers specially tailored to your fingers and toes! Once you taste my clipping skill, you will never be able to trim your own fingernails and toenails again!” The Indoor Librarian’s eyes shone dangerously. “Give me three minutes! No, two minutes will be enough! Please trust me with your hands and feet for just one hundred twenty seconds!”

It was certainly not this moonstruck Constellation either. He was even worse.

[Shiny sings about your brilliant achievements again today.]

[Shiny verses your brave roar on the walls of the Aegim Empire.]

[Shiny choruses your desperate yet beautiful struggle in murim.]

[Shiny bridges how happy she is to be able to see you today too.]

[Shiny outros long live the hero.]

Huh...? Were there no normal people around me? Seriously? That was strange. I was a model student who tried to live a normal life—why was there only a crazy ghost, an insane Constellation, and a lunatic sword around me?

When I thought about it, none of them were humans either. That was insane. Was this my fate? If it was, wasn’t it a shitty fate? Was god an asshole?

You Shitberian Husky...[1] I thought.

“Haha, Death King! What are you thinking about?”

“Mr. Inquisitor, I was thinking that it would be good if you went to the thirteenth floor and negotiated with the priests from the world of the Aegim Empire. It would be nice if newbie Hunters could take quests there.”

“Oh! I was thinking of something similar. It seems you and I click! We both think about how to be helpful to everyone! Okay, I’ll get going!”

After shooing away the Welsh Corgi Inquisitor, I was even less confident in my fate.

“Uh... M-Mr. Death King.”

A savior appeared before me as I was about to dive into a pool of despair.

“I succeeded in mass-producing the zombie virus cure. The ingredients needed for mass production are relatively easy to obtain. Uh, Hunters will be able to roam around the twenty-second floor without any problems as long as they’re vaccinated first.”

It was her!

“Miss Chemist.”

“Y-yes, Mr. Death King...?”

“What do you think about moving your shop?”

The Chemist blinked. “Excuse me?”

“The shop is too small right now,” I explained, laying out the plan I’d been thinking about since she’d won the competition against the Medicine King. “You’ve become more popular after you cleared the stage, so you should expand your shop. The number of orders will skyrocket—will you be able to handle that volume from your current shop?”

“Ah... Oh, I-I was thinking about expanding the shop too, but the real estate prices on the first floor are... As you already know, I have to get a lot of loans... The Countess showed me some kind of contract and said that she would pay for everything.”

“No, please don’t sign that. Ever.”

I wasn’t going to let that cat get her paws on my fish.

“I can give you the land you need,” I offered. “I’ll take care of it all, including the moving costs and interior design costs, so all you have to bring is yourself.”

The Chemist’s jaw dropped to the floor. “U-uh-uhhmmmm... Really...?”

“Yes—you know the twentieth floor is my property, right? I’ll give you a good spot. Just bring yourself.”

The Chemist opened and closed her mouth in disbelief, but I meant what I said. What was the point of having land and not using it? If I thought of it as investing in the future head of the Alchemist Office, it was a bargain.

“In return, please put my requests for medicine and potions slightly above the other requests. Does that sound okay?” I smiled.

“O-of course! I’m already doing that... Ugh, ughhh... W-what should I do? I’ve received too much from you, Mr. Death King...”

While she was surprised, the Chemist couldn’t hide her joy. The corners of her mouth twitched and she clenched her fists, like she was suppressing a shout of joy. Despite what she said, it was a great offer.

My heart swelled. It felt so rewarding to take care of my people.

“Ahem. Ahem! Mmmmhmmm! Ehem! Kid, aren’t you forgetting something?”

The Medicine King was standing behind me. I hadn’t sensed any movement until he spoke up. Had he learned the Lightness Art in murim without me knowing? He was at an incredible level.

“I wish I had more land late in my life...” The Medicine King gave me a glance. “My shop is sooooo old and it smells sooooo musty these days. It also gets humid easily. It’s really bad for my back! It’s a three-story building, so I have to climb up and down every day. I can hear my knees creaking every time I climb up the stairs...”

He gave me another glance. “It would be nice if a kind young man could give me some land with good air... I only need around 33,000 square meters...”

“I’m sorry. Please excuse my friend.” The Sword Star approached and grabbed the Medicine King by the nape and dragged him away.

Even as he was dragged away, the Medicine King shouted, “Who taught you to interfere with your friend’s business instead of helping them? Is that how they taught you in Northern Europe? You, Marcus Carlenbery! For a man born into a prestigious family of businessmen, your business manners are worse than a beggar’s!”

“My friend, it’s already sad that we’re old, so let’s please not be ugly too... You already make a lot of money.”

“I’m losing money nowadays! The number of orders I’m getting has plummeted lately! Hey, Chemist! You, girl, over there! Say ‘I talked too rashly in the last match. I actually don’t have the power to end Sir Shawn McCallister’s victory run.’ Just say it! Please!”

All of the Hunters in the great library stared at the Medicine King. After the joint research and the surgery together, the Chemist had been looking at the Medicine King in a new light, but she now simply said, “Wow,” and looked at him like he was a cockroach.

“Why do all of the heroines of the novels I read end up dying?” the Viper grumbled. “Is this the trend now?”

Seriously, all of the Hunters were insane.

***

Opening the Chemist’s new shop on the twentieth floor went smoothly. The gold I had received from the lottery was enough to cover the cost of construction materials. I had no problem getting the manpower needed for the construction either. The Countess, however, kept lingering like a cat on a laptop.

“Hey, Death King. I’m telling you, I can give you a discount on the price of the construction materials. That isn’t all—I can get you all of the hands you need. Just sign this contract with the Chemist. You only have to do that once—”

“And I told you to forget it!” I shook her off and looked back at Preta. “How are things going?”

“The construction is progressing smoothly, Master.”

Preta was in charge of the construction. She’d donned a yellow hardhat and a green armband, and used a pink whistle to lead the skeletons, I summoned with Monster Legion Reincarnation, in the construction. A handsome young man with a ponytail and a particularly dirty mouth was among the skeletons.

“What the fuck! Fucking hell! Hey! You goddamn beggar! What the fuck do you have against me? Why am I carrying rocks with these skeletons, asshole? Say something, you motherfucker!”

However, the absolute majority of the workers were skeletons who moved in unison, so the construction was proceeding smoothly.

While that was happening, the Chemist, the Viper, and I made a treaty.

“Okay, I think we can do it like this. There are still a lot of jiangshi on the twenty-second floor—in other words, there are a lot of monsters. And the place is filled with ruined dojos, which are basically dungeons.”

“Yup, so my OJP Sect will set up base...”

“A-and... Hunters who want to go to the twenty-second floor will get vaccinated at my new shop on the twentieth floor before they actually go... right?”

“That’s right.” I nodded. “And I’ll take some commission in the process... It’ll be a reasonable amount, of course.”

I owned the twentieth floor, and the Chemist was building a new nest there. The OJP Sect was going to move their headquarters to the twenty-second floor. This plan would benefit all three of us.

I never thought I’d receive a real estate commission, I thought.

I was really satisfied with the arrangement, but when the shop actually opened, it turned out that there was a problem with the plan: too many people rushed to the twentieth floor.

“Chemist God!”

“Chemist King!”

“Chemist Emperor!”

“O Supreme Jade Celestial Chemist Emperor! Please sell me some medicine!”

Hunters could travel up to the twentieth floor even without a title, so many more Hunters rushed to the twentieth floor, not just the Hunters who wanted to get vaccinated before going to the twenty-second floor.

The process of giving a shot of the zombie virus vaccine was rather complicated, but other medicines and potions still had to be manufactured in the meantime. That meant that the process kept getting tangled up with the store’s general affairs.

At first, the Chemist tried to solve that on her own, but in the end, she screamed.

“Mr. Death King, this won’t work!

Ultimately, we had no choice but to call on the last member of the team who cleared the twenty-second floor together.

The Viper put his arm around him. “Medicine King, your business is no fun nowadays, huh? I’ll give you a good spot in the OJP Sect’s headquarters on the twenty-second floor. Why don’t you come and be my guild’s exclusive doctor?”

“Hey, OJP Sect Master! Who do you think I am? I’m Shawn McCallister!”

Despite his big talk, the Medicine King’s business was actually not doing well. The selling point of the Medicine King’s merchandise was that they were high-end, but the Chemist showed up, offering people the most deluxe grade of medicines and potions. The Medicine King’s merchandise deteriorated into a half-baked luxury.

Everyone knew that, and so did the Medicine King. After some persuading, the Medicine King groaned. “I’ll take some commissions by giving some shots and taking care of emergencies on the twenty-second floor for the time being.”

“Yes, please... I also need a doctor for my teacher anyway,” the Viper murmured.

“Hmph, yeah... He and I speak more of the same language than I do with Marcus. Okay, I’ll do it. I’ve been feeling a little lonely too.”

Even as time passed, Hunters continued their attempts to clear new floors. After all, we weren’t the only Hunters who would dive into a new floor to clear them.

Twenty-First Floor: Great Library of All Life

Twenty-Second Floor: Heavenly Demon Chronicle (Genres: Murim, Fusion)

Twenty-Third Floor: The Space Iron Knight’s Epic (Genre: Sci-Fi)

Twenty-Fourth Floor: Diary from the Dawn Mountain Lodge (Genres: Mystery, History)

“Good. Good, good, good, good.” The Black Witch smiled with satisfaction.

She was the leader of the Hunters now, carefully deciding which apocalyptic book we should clear and who would form the expedition team to do so.

“Death King, this is all thanks to you. Clearing the Heavenly Demon Chronicle so well got the other Hunters pumped to try and beat you.” The Black Witch gave me an affectionate look. “These people used to ignore everything I said! Ah, if only they’d always been like this...”

It was more like she was looking at a golden goose. At this rate, she was going to say that the Tower was built because of me.

“If we keep this up, we’ll be able to clear the thirtieth floor before the end of the month.”

Unfortunately, the Black Witch’s prophecy was wrong. In the second week since the Heavenly Demon Chronicle was cleared...

[The attempt to clear the twenty-fifth floor has failed today.]

Hundreds of Hunters and the Black Witch looked up blankly.

[Announcement.]

[The attempt to clear the twenty-fifth floor has failed today.]

“What? What...?” The Black Witch was perplexed. Her black eyes were filled with shock. “I sent the best team... but they failed...?”

A hologram screen in the great library was broadcasting a Hunter team’s apocalyptic book expedition live. There we saw countless demons giggling as they slaughtered humans.

Among the humans being slaughtered, there were familiar faces: the Countess and the Paladin. They were the Rank 4 and Rank 9 Hunters, respectively. While the Countess handled Babylon’s money, the Paladin managed the city’s law enforcement. In other words, they were the people in charge of the Tower’s economy and order. They were the best people we could send for that team, as the Black Witch had said, but the team had failed.

The Story of Sormwin Academy

Genre: Romance, Fantasy

Difficulty level: D

Required challengers: 4~5 people

※Serialization is currently discontinued.

Description: Sormwin is a prestigious magic academy where friendship, healthy rivalry, love, and jealousy can be found just like any other place. This apocalyptic book would have remained an ordinary academy novel if only an artifact capable of destroying the world hadn’t been sealed in the academy’s basement!

Reason for discontinuation of serialization: The villainess loses her fiance, the Crown Prince, to a female student who has been given a second chance at life. This drives the villainess mad, so she unseals the artifact, releasing a great demon and bringing destruction to the world.

The apocalyptic book was only ranked D in the difficulty level. The world was chosen because they had developed magic and had abundant minerals like mithril.

“Oh, that’s too bad.” The Indoor Librarian looked down at the stupefied Hunters. “However, it’s spilled milk now! If you can put back what’s spilled, then it might be different, but I can’t undo an expedition that’s already failed. Please understand my predicament.”

The Indoor Librarian was smiling, though. He was basically saying that if someone could put back the spilled milk... he would make an exception. It was obvious who he was talking to.

I headed to the library’s bathroom. I had also stopped by here before heading to the world of the Heavenly Demon Chronicle. The mirror above the sink reflected a man with a dark expression.

“Damn, I’ve never even read a romance novel,” I muttered.

—Well, you hadn’t read a murim novel before either, but you made it work. I’m pretty sure it won’t be an issue for you. The Guardian shrugged.

“That’s true, but...” I sighed and grabbed the dagger. “I can’t just let the Countess and the Paladin die, and it doesn’t look like it’ll be solved if I send in someone else. I guess I have to do it myself.”

Someone might tell me that I could just give up the apocalyptic book and choose another one. But that wasn’t that simple—I had a reason why I could not give up on that apocalyptic book.

[Shiny cheers for the decision you made.]

Another fragment of the Goddess of Protection was hidden there too.

“... Alright.” I gripped the hilt of my dagger and steeled myself. “Let’s go!”

I rewinded time until I got to the day before the expedition team was formed. That was the moment when my next stage was decided to be a romance novel.

1. The raw is 이 시베리안 허스키. It’s a Korean wordplay on how Siberian Husky sounds similar to 씨발(sipal). ☜