Keyboard Immortal

Chapter 14: Mission

Translator: Pika

“Of course not,” Cheng Shouping replied, scanning the crowd on tiptoes. “Divine Physician Ji is Miss Ji’s father. Miss Ji is not only a gorgeous beauty, she’s also known to be a warm and kind person. She often provides free consultations for the poor, making her incredibly popular in the city. These people are likely here to catch a glimpse of her.”

Zu An scoffed, “Gorgeous beauty? Even someone like Snow is deemed to be a beauty in your eyes. A mere study companion like you must have never seen real beauty before, or else your standards wouldn’t be this low!”

Cheng Shouping’s face flushed indignantly, but before he could defend himself, a red-faced man who was in the crowd turned to confront them. “Oi, brat! What do you know? Miss Ji’s beauty rivals that of Miss Chu from the duke’s estate in our Brightmoon City! It’s a shame Miss Chu has recently married a useless wastrel, so there’s no point mentioning her anymore. Right now, Miss Ji is the only goddess in my dreams!”

Zu An’s face turned incredibly livid. How could this fellow insult him straight to his face? He wouldn’t be a true keyboard warrior if he took this lying down!

He cupped his ear as if listening earnestly to the red-faced man’s words. Then, he shouted back, “What did you say? Miss Ji is the goddess of your wet dreams?”

Zu An was currently at the third step of the second rank, so his voice was much louder than an ordinary person’s. Not a single person missed his exclamation, and they all turned their heads towards the commotion.

This sudden scrutiny flustered the red-faced man. “What are you talking about? I said dreams―”

Zu An cut him off sharply. “Ah, that explains why you said that you wanted to steal something of Miss Ji’s to take home with you. My gosh, you are a disgusting excuse for a human being. Please stay away from me.”

As Zu An spoke, he pushed the red-faced man backward, as if trying to prevent him getting closer. His true goal, however, was to shove the red-faced man into the waiting hands of the now-infuriated crowd.

“I didn’t say that! I wasn’t...” Sensing the murderous glares trained on him, the red-faced man panicked. He tried his best to explain himself, but his stuttering and stammering were to no avail, as someone in the crowd yelled out “Get him!”

They fell on him in a blur of snarling faces and angry fists.

You have successfully trolled Lu Renjia for 666 Rage points!

Zu An calmly smoothed the front of his robe as he stepped around the melee and made his way leisurely to the entrance of the residence.

Cheng Shouping stared blankly. This works too? Despite his surprise, he rushed to catch up to Zu An.

A furious howl issued from within the residence. “All of you, scram! What’s the meaning of this, causing such a cacophony outside another’s house this early? You’re disturbing this old man’s sleep!”

The tightly shut doors to the residence finally creaked open.

“Divine Physician Ji is out! Divine Physician Ji is out!”

The crowd surged towards the doorway, Lu Renjia all but forgotten, leaving behind a pitiful man lying on the ground covered in footprints.

Zu An examined the man who had just walked out of the residence. He had a thin face that retained a shadow of the beguiling features of his younger years. However, his untrimmed beard, heavy eyebags, and the overwhelming odor of alcohol pouring off him reduced him to nothing more than another scruffy middle-aged man.

Despite his appearance, Zu An did not look down on him. His ears were still ringing from that earlier roar. Without a doubt, Divine Physician Ji’s cultivation was far higher than his.

This is more like it. It’s clear that this man has the air of a hidden expert, similar to that drunk sword immortal. Except that his face isn’t that round.

“Divine Physician Ji, where’s your daughter?” Someone standing by the side asked with a fawning smile.

Divine Physician Ji shot him a glance and demanded, “Who are you?”

“Divine Physician Ji, do you not recognize me anymore? I am Wang Fugui! I often drop by your place!” That man hurriedly introduced himself.

“I don’t remember you.” Divine Physician Ji dug his ear before leisurely flicking his ear wax away. “This Divine Physician only remembers the faces of pretty ladies. Why would I bother with a mere moneybag... Ahem ahem, I mean, customer! Anyway, you probably never spent a single cent here.”

Wang Fugui chuckled sheepishly. “I have never patronized your business before, but Miss Ji has treated my illness several times―”

“Goddammit! I knew that it was weird how my business has dropped off recently!” Divine Physician Ji cut in furiously. “It turns out that that damned lass has been treating all of you for free. All of you, scram!”

“Damned lass?” Zu An was surprised to hear those words. To refer to his daughter in such a manner, are they really blood-related?

“We’re here to look for Miss Ji, not you...” Under Divine Physician Ji’s glare, Wang Fugui’s words faded away meekly.

“She’s not around! I sent her out of the city to pick some medicine so that she’ll stop interrupting my business!” Divine Physician Ji pulled out a chair and dropped lazily into it. “Those who want to be treated, either fork out 100 silver taels as consultation fee or complete my task. If you aren’t here to be diagnosed, you better get out of my sight right now. If not, don’t blame me for getting nasty!”

Upon hearing that their goddess was absent, the crowd gathered dispersed in a flash. Their departure looked rehearsed―this was definitely not the first time they had been dismissed in this manner. A few individuals who desperately needed a consultation stayed and begged earnestly, “Divine Physician Ji, we can’t afford to pay 100 silver taels. Please, master, do some good and have mercy on us.”

Divine Physician Ji took a sip from the wine gourd he was carrying. Without bothering to look any of them in the eye, he said, “I, Ji Dengtu, can treat hundreds of illnesses, but the illness that you are suffering from is beyond my means.”

One of those who had stayed immediately panicked. “I haven’t even explained my symptoms to you yet, so how do you know that I can’t be treated?”

Divine Physician Ji finally met the man’s flustered gaze. “That’s because the illness you’re suffering from is poverty! How can I treat something like that?”

“You don’t have any of the virtues that a physician ought to have! How can you call yourself a divine physician?” That man’s face turned scarlet as he turned and left in a huff of wounded pride.

Unperturbed, Divine Physician Ji lounged lazily in his chair, idly humming a tune. He paid no heed to the insults hurled at him.

It was then that a man with a ratty face stepped forward and discreetly pushed a picture book filled with vibrantly colored portraits into Divine Physician Ji’s hands. “Divine Physician Ji, I just managed to obtain this recently. It’s the newest edition of Heaven On Earth.”

Divine Physician Ji jolted upright. He snatched the picture book over and flipped through it hungrily. Zu An, who was standing nearby, could just about make out the scantily-dressed ladies that adorned each page.

“This isn’t too bad!” Divine Physician Ji stuffed the book into his clothes before patting the other party’s shoulder with a look of approval. “You may go in. I’ll treat you later on.”

This freaking works too?

Zu An was dumbstruck. I have ‘Pimp of the Young Maidens’, ‘XX Records of Youth’, and ‘Morphing Into a Dragon In the Face of Storm’ with me too... Do you want them? It’s just a pity that I can’t draw, or else I could just produce one and offer it to him...

“Why is he able to enter?” Those who had not witnessed the exchange cried indignantly.

Divine Physician Physician harrumphed sternly. “That’s none of your business. You want to enter too? Sure. Pay the consultation fee or finish my task!”

“But your task is simply too difficult! You’re just making things hard for us!” Someone complained.

It was then that Zu An noticed a signboard by the doorway labeled ‘Today’s Task’. On it was written: This Divine Physician is going to concoct a Ki Refinement Pill. I need 10 Assrip Wolf goubaos for my medicine.

Zu An had heard of goubaos before. They were stone-like objects that grew inside a dog’s stomach, spherical or elliptical in shape, and colored either ashen-white or grayish-black. They were effective in soothing blood flow, clearing blockages, and detoxifying.

However, what in the world was an Assrip Wolf? Some sort of mutant wolf in the world of cultivation?

Hearing the complaints from those around, Divine Physician Ji sneered contemptuously. “Do I look dumb to you? Why would I bother giving out tasks if they aren’t hard?”

The crowd lost their patience, and began speaking over one another.

“But every Assrip Wolf is at least at the second rank, and the leader of the pack could very well be in the third rank!”

“They always gather in packs numbering anywhere between dozens of wolves to over a hundred! An ordinary person would be torn to shreds!”

“Goubaos are incredibly rare! One would be lucky to find a single goubao from 10 Assrip Wolves!”

...

“Shut up! You’re all too noisy!” Divine Physician Ji glared at the crowd. “It’s not that Assrip Wolves are powerful; all of you are simply too weak! If any of you were to reach rank four, wouldn’t you be able to clear this task within minutes easily?”

Veins popped out from the temples of some in the crowd as they hollered. “Any cultivator who has reached the fourth rank is already qualified to become a city lord! How can we possibly match up to such people?”

Zu An looked on silently. From the infuriated statements of the crowd, he realized that most of the cultivators were at the second rank, and there were hardly any third ranks around. Using such a standard as a gauge, wouldn’t that mean he wasn't actually that weak?

“Cut the crap. Do the task if you want, or else just get lost! It’s not as if I’m forcing any of you into it!” Divine Physician Ji lost his patience. “Stop blocking my doorway and obstructing my business. Shoo shoo shoo!”

Zu An tugged at Cheng Shouping’s arm and asked, “This fellow is so arrogant. Isn’t he afraid of getting beaten up?”

Cheng Shouping was shocked to hear those words. He quickly put his finger up to silence Zu An and pulled him into a back alley. “Divine Physician Ji possesses unfathomable power. Plenty of impatient lads have tried to strong-arm him into treating them before, but do you know what happened to them?”

“They got thrown out?” Zu An asked.

From his expression, Zu An could tell that Cheng Shouping was unimpressed by his lack of imagination. “They’re all lying under their tombstones right now.”

“He’s that vicious?” Zu An stroked his lower jaw in astonishment. “Isn’t the magistrate going to interfere in this matter?”

Cheng Shouping explained, “Divine Physician Ji isn’t a divine physician for nothing. You don’t know how many experts are indebted to him over the years. Even the city lord has to show some respect in his presence. Not to mention, those lads had tried to strong-arm him first, so the cases were ruled in his favor.”

Zu An was determined. “Is there really no way to complete the task?”

“Of course!” Cheng Shouping replied matter-of-factly. “Those who are weak don’t have the ability to complete the task, and those who are strong could simply pay the consultation fee instead of wasting their time on the task. He had grown fed up with the number of people complaining about his fee, so he came up with these impossible tasks to stuff their mouths.”

“No wonder!” Zu An nodded. That Ji fellow had intended for the tasks that he set to be impossible for the common folk to accomplish in the first place!

Wait a moment! A thought suddenly flashed across Zu An’s mind, and he narrowed his eyes at Cheng Shouping. This darned thing knew that the task was impossible, yet he didn’t give me a heads-up before bringing me here. He must be doing this in order to meet Miss Ji.

Zu An’s face darkened as he addressed Cheng Shouping. “You should return to the Chu Estate first. I’ll walk around by myself.” His happiness was at stake here, so he had to give it a try no matter how tough it was! Anyway, he had the Poisonous Prick and the Poison Bottle. As long as he was careful, he might just be able to complete the task.

Of course, he had to make sure to do it without drawing the attention of the Chu clan. The Chu clan thought of him as nothing but trash, and enemies lurked in the shadows who were out to take his life. If they were to learn that he had managed to raise his cultivation to the second rank, their next attempt would be more deadly.

Lying low is the key to survival!

Cheng Shouping was astonished. “Young master, you aren’t thinking of attempting the task, are you?”

Zu An wondered if his actions had given away his intentions, but Cheng Shouping carried on before he could fashion an excuse. “Young master, do you know why those wolves are named as Assrip Wolves?”