Chapter 59 Self-Awareness & Willingness
Deep Mines, Day Five-Hundred Forty-Eight:
"The Dao truly is extraordinary," Yan Zaizen placed his pickaxe down, his body rested on a piece of debris. His ability to infuse this wonderous internal law into all things was exceptional, and the benefits it contained was numerous to near infinite. It’s been nearly two years, but his mental state and will had grown exceptionally well in this environment.
The constant pressure for freedom, from the many deaths, from the despair and the cruelty of the world continuously tempered his mindset and beliefs. His continuous discussions with Tao during this time about the world outside, cultivation, and life itself allowed his mind to become sharper. Many things he didn’t originally know, he knew, and things he felt were unrealistic was brought to light.
Tao was like a teacher constantly providing him non-intrusive advice and spreading his knowledge. Tao, of course, did so mainly to not lose his mind in this hell. Yan Zaizen never felt that slipping of the mind due to his Dao giving him a strengthened sense of focus and clarity. There wasn’t hope in his eyes like others, but certainty and patience. This was the stark difference between Yan Zaizen from day one and now; he no longer had a naïve mind filled with baseless hope.
The cruel reality of the Deep Mines was a lot more devastating than he originally assumed. It’s been nearly two years, and he had never seen a single individual in his vicinity go up to freedom. The ones who arrived with him had all perished one way or another. As for the second group that arrived, they had perished as well. Only he and Tao remained. The newly arrived crew seemed to be establishing another cycle of hope and despair.
"It wouldn’t be called the Heavenly Dao if it wasn’t," Tao said, he walked over and sat beside Yan Zaizen. In his hands were their daily rations. Before, Tao was scrawny, and now he was nothing more than bones at this point. His eyes were sunken, his stomach was caved inwards, but his gaze held a trace of unyielding intelligence. His teeth were still remarkably white, and even Yan Zaizen didn’t know how he was keeping them such.
"Yeah, Yeah. Heavenly Dao. You must first be blessed by the Heavens before being able to develop it. You say that every time." Yan Zaizen carelessly dismissed, grabbing his ration from Tao and slowly eating it. It was a tasteless oatmeal mixture filled with enough nutrients for the body to live but not enough to produce sufficient energy to work at the peak. Despite this, Yan Zaizen didn’t dislike it.
Tao laughed softly, digging into his oatmeal. The others nearby were doing the same, and the newly arrived individuals were eating with vigor, slight traces of hope in their eyes and unyielding will.
Tao seemed to have thought of something, looking at Yan Zaizen up and down, "Did you breakthrough?" He noticed that Yan Zaizen was covering his body and face in cloth, concealing his impressive visage and physical stature. Yan Zaizen just looked upwards, swallowing the little oatmeal in his mouth. He didn’t seem to contain any happiness in his gaze, but just an unyielding will and undying resolve.
"Yeah..." He answered.
Yan Zaizen had achieved the Perfect Stage of the Nascent Herculean Physique. When he did, his bones became thicker, his quad-lungs further displayed their ability to send essence into the blood to strengthen one’s body constantly, and his amber eyes became a shade lighter. His looks became far better-looking than before. Among men, he would definitely be rated as a nine out of ten. The only flaw would have to be his gaze were a lot calmer and concealed than before.
"Not enough?" Tao inquired.
Yan Zaizen shook his head.
Indeed, his plan of using the Immortal Herculean Method to escape couldn’t work. At the moment, his vital energies could rival the late-Qi Unification Cultivators at its peak. However, with his current situation, reaching that peak was unlikely. Even if he was at his peak, he still wouldn’t be able to escape due to the formation and the climbing restraint. However, this didn’t shake his will, only forced him to relocate his focus.
Regrettably, the Dao couldn’t be cultivated through desire, but through experiences. Tao didn’t know what level his Dao was at, but it was certainly at its development phase. He said that the Dao typically has unique characteristics of each individual, and that characteristic would manifest itself when a Dao was completed. Unfortunately, he hadn’t developed this yet.
Tao lowered his head in thought. Then asked softly, "What will you do when you leave this place?"
Yan Zaizen’s eyes flickered with an odd glint. "Besides the obvious?" He carelessly chuckled.
"Besides the obvious." Tao solemnly said.
"I was born in the Yan Clan, a second-tier force in Presba. My Mother and Father were buried at our clan’s ancestral graveyard. I’ll visit them. I’ll say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done." He stated, his voice filled with resolve. He took a deep breath and continued, "When I was younger, I fell in love with a girl. She married my cousin. The things I did in my youth, I don’t regret, but now that I’m older, I feel I should talk to her. To tell her that I don’t hate her for her choice or actions." His voice was filled with a sort of relief.
"Oh?" Tao was surprised, this was the first time Yan Zaizen truly answered his question. Over the last five hundred days, every time this question was asked, he’d be brushed off. "You don’t hate her? For not choosing you?" He inquired curiously. Most men, especially young ones, would feel enraged from not being chosen.
Yan Zaizen softly shook his head. "The cultivation world is filled with dangers and cruelty. When I was younger, I wanted to rely on her talent for my own rise. I wanted to have wealth, safety, status, good food, excellent wine, and a beautiful woman by my side. I wanted to be protected. I wanted to give a little and gain everything. Haha, I was truly young."
He truly felt that the person he was three years ago was too different from now. He had been kidnapped from his home, teleported far away, traveled in a forest of poisonous beasts, got schemed against and almost married another, performed a slaughter towards all those who stood in his way and was schemed against once more. It didn’t stop there. When he survived all that, he was unfortunate enough to land in a place that essentially sent him to hell on earth.
His mind was a lot clearer than before. He understood the importance of talent, will, and ability. Han Genji lost his lover because of his weakness and others schemes. Was it any different from how he lost her?
"Her choice, no one can know whether it was the right or wrong one. One thing I know, the younger me did not deserve her. I accept this. I know this." Saying this aloud felt like a weight was lifted from his mind. "What about you?" He turned his head to look at this deep-voiced man filled with knowledge and mysteries.
Tao contemplated for a moment, "My future is over. I have nothing to do and nowhere to go." His voice quivered slightly when he said this. Yan Zaizen was startled. What did that mean? He could tell that the story there was exceptional but also complicated. A man with no clan and no family name, thrown into hell and left there to rot.
"I see..." Yan Zaizen closed his eyes. He said some words carelessly, "What about joining me? We’ll travel the vast realm, see the myriad sights it has to offer and enjoy our lives."
However, these few careless words shook Tao to his very core. He slowly turned towards Yan Zaizen, his eyes seemed wet and his fists were clenched. This boy in front of him was exceptional, but escaping was nothing but a dream. He knew this. There was no way of escape, and no one has ever escaped the Deep Mines. Despite struggling to survive due to an unwillingness to concede, he contemplated jumping off the cliff every day since. Yet, when those words were spoken, he felt a tinge of hope well up in him.
He didn’t say anything, only nodded with a slight grunt of agreement. He feared that if he spoke, it’s likely he’d reveal a side that a man shouldn’t show carelessly.
Yan Zaizen slightly smiled as he looked upwards. "If I see you again, what will you think?"