Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu‎

Volume 8, The First Question

“…Yuuji.”

“Hm?”

“…I'm very happy about the hotpot tonight.”

“Really? It's great that you would feel this way. Ah, no time to hang out. Got to hurry back home. It's late now.”

“…Yuuji, wait.”

“What? Did you forget something?”

“…No.”

“Then what is it? I don't have time to stand here and chit-chat—”

“…I…don't want to go back home today.”

“Heh? What did you say?”

“…I…don't want to go back home today…”

“…Are you serious, Shouko?”

“…Really serious.”

“…I see. So you don't want to go home today…”

“…(Nods head).”

“In that case…”

“…Mn.”

“My house's over there. I'll make a move first.”

“…Even this kind and gentle me can't forgive that.”

“ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!! HOLD ON A MINUTE!!! WHO THE HELL DID YOU CALL GENTLE!!!”

“…Yuuji lacks awareness as a husband.”

“Awareness as a husband? I've never been someone's husband. Forget about being self-aware!”

“…Looks like I have to educate Yuuji properly.”

“ACK ACK ACK ACK…e, educate? What nonsense are you spouting? You're the one who needs education more than I do.”

“…That's why I feel that we should live together.”

“That's too different, about 540 degrees from the topic just now.”

“…This is for the kids' sake.”

“STOP LOOKING SO CARING AND PATTING YOUR STOMACH! WE CAN'T POSSIBLY HAVE ANY CHILDREN!”

“…Daddy's so cold-hearted, Shouyu.”

“AND YOU'RE SAYING THINGS LIKE A DAMNED FATHER WHO WOULDN'T RECOGNISE HIS KIDS! AND DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO USE THAT NAME!”

“…Then we'll stay together in Yuuji's room tonight and think of a good name for our child.”

“HOLD ON! ISN'T THIS CONVERSATION WAY TOO WEIRD!”

“…That's because Yuuji's not good with modern language.”

“OF COURSE NOT! NO LANGUAGE DIFFERENCE CAN CHANGE THE WEIRDNESS OF OUR CONVERSATION HERE!”

“…Yuuji's so cold-hearted.”

“Nope, I'm even thinking that I'm kind enough to continue with this ridiculously stupid topic…oh yeah. Why must you come over with me? Did something happen in your house?”

“…No, nothing happened in my house.”

“Then why—”

“…The kiss back then made me pregnant, so I want to continue to the next step with Yuuji.”

“@((*(&&&(@*&#(!*&!(&*(@&*$))@(&*)(@!!!”

“…Calm down, Yuuji. Your language's really terrible.”

“YOU IDIOT!! HOW CAN YOU GET PREGNANT BY KISSING THE FOREHEAD! LEARN SOME COMMON SENSE HERE!”

“…Sigh…”

“You…what's with that 'this idiot still doesn't understand anything' sigh!”

“…Since Yuuji really doesn't understand, I'll graciously tell you this.”

“Really~? Then say it.”

“…There's something called 'false pregnancy' in this world.”

“YOU'RE COMPLETELY MISTAKEN THERE! THAT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SAID PROUDLY! THIS FALSE IMPRESSION OF GETTING PREGNANT ONLY THROUGH THE POWER OF LOVE WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING ELSE ISN'T SOMETHING THAT'S MEANT TO BE BRAGGED!”

“…”

“Oi, what's with that silence?”

“…So we have to live together to make this a reality…”

“Wait, Shouko! Let's talk it through first.”

“…The name of the child?”

“No, that's not it. It's about your admission to a hospital.”

“…I'm so happy.”

“Th, this person is thinking that she's about to be admitted into a gynaecology hospital…”

“…Then we should live together.”

“Didn't I say we can't?”

“…But…”

“No buts!”

“…But Yuuji, you said that you would be my boyfriend during the summoning war in the first semester.”

“Uu…ev, even so, one at a time, that has nothing to do with living together!”

“…That's not true. Yuuji's my boyfriend.”

“What nonsense are you saying? Do you see any high school students staying together?”

“…So you're willing to stay with me if there are high school students staying together?”

“Ah, okay okay. But it must be within our domain, students from Fumitzuki Gakuen.”

“…I understand. I'll work hard to find them.”

“Okay okay, whatever, but I guess we can't possibly have such people in school.”

Question: Please read through the following passage and fill in the correct English phrase in the blank.

He is a very diligent student. However, he submitted the answer sheet without filling in anything in the examinations. The classmates who have seen it said:_________

Himeji Mizuki's answer:

“Why did he do such a thing?”

Teacher's comment:

That's correct. The front and back parts meant that 'he was a very diligent student, but handed in a blank script. On seeing that he handed in a blank script, everyone in class couldn't help but ask “why did he do such a thing?”'

Yoshii Akihisa's answer:

“YEAH! LET'S PARTY!”

Teacher's comment:

Why is it that such a passage seems like it's worth celebrating over?

Tsuchiya Kouta's answer:

“Oh…let's party…”

Teacher's comment:

It's not something that can be brought over with just a little disappointment!

Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp. The sound of the birds flying outside could be heard.

I probably forgot to close the window blinds, didn't I? As the morning sunlight shone into the room, my body prompted me to wake up while ignoring the fact that my consciousness was still drowsy, trying to sleep.

“Well, Akihisa-kun…”

As the birds continued to chirp on, I heard that delightfully cute voice that rang like a bell. It felt like I was right in between reality and dreamland, but my blurry sense of realism was intertwined with the unrealistic feeling of dreamland. Thus, I accepted Himeji-san's voice without thinking even though she couldn't possibly be here now.

“Un…Himeji-san, just let me sleep a little longer…”

“Eh? Ah, you're right. It's Sunday, so you want to sleep a little longer.”

She would even answer the dreamy sleeptalk of mine seriously.

“I always wanted to see Akihisa-kun's sleeping face…”

As expected of Himeji-san, she's really gentle.

“But you said many times 'I want to get up and make breakfast, so you must remember to wake me up'…Akihisa-kun, hurry up and wake it. It's morning already.”

Himeji-san looked somewhat worried as she shook my head.

This was supposed to be an action to get me out of bed, but to me, it felt like I was being shaken in a cradle, as it felt really comfy.

“Uu, let me sleep for another 3 light years.”

“Uu…what should I do now…Akihisa-kun hasn't woken up yet, and even mistook light years as a unit for time instead of distance…well, Akihisa-kun, if you don't wake up—”

“—I'll be with you and continue kissing you for the rest of my life.”

“AN EVIL PRESENCE HAS COMETH!!”

Immediately awake, I tilted my head and used both hands to cover my face tightly, not showing any opening. I also exerted some force into my feet so that I could run away whenever I needed to. Is this a dream? Or is it a brand new way of waking people up? But what's with that emergency before!

Right in front of me, who's in a defensive stance—

“Really, who are you calling evil?”

Nee-san stared at me coldly.

“What in the world did you say you want to do to me? Say it again then!!”

I asked my sister, who narrowed her eyes and looked like she wasn't involved. It may be a little too much to call her evil, but I feel that there's no need to correct that, right?

“After kissing Aki-kun, I'll take away Aki-kun's freedom and make you do shameful acts, and after taking photos, I'll use them to blackmail you for the rest of your life. That's all.”

“Forget about an evil presence, you're basically a criminal!”

I'd like to take back my words. That's not some evil presence. It's more accurate to call it 'criminal'.

“Well…Akihisa-kun, good morning.”

“Ah, good morning, Himeji-san.”

A cheery morning greeting came from beside me. It was the first time up till now that I turned to look at Himeji-san.

Basking under the morning sun, her soft long hair seemed to be dazzling brightly. The long skirt matched the wool underwear under her, and she was twice as bewitching with that charm of her happy smile. She's actually in my house, and I could see such a cute profile that would cure my heart. Such happiness…eh? Hold on a minute!

“Himeji…san?”

“Yes.”

“Wh…”

Why are you here—I hurriedly swallowed those words before I said it out loud. I now remembered that Himeji-san's staying at my house for the time being. Himeji-san's already so cautious. If I said such things to her, she'd be really insecure. That was really dangerous. I have to be careful.

“Hm? Akihisa-kun, what's wrong?”

“Ah, it's nothing, nothing at all. That's right. Did you sleep well last night?”

Himeji-san tilted her head in a confused manner after seeing me stop midway in my sentence, and I hurriedly changed the topic to get past it.

“Yes, I had a good dream!”

The topic that was just raised caused Himeji-san to reveal a sweet smile. I seemed to be able to feel her happiness. I was worried that she wouldn't be able to sleep in a place she's not used to, so it's great that she could sleep well.

“Hehe, that's great.”

“That's really a great dream. It was so cute that I want to witness it myself in real life.”

Cute…is it something related to small animals like kittens and puppies?

“Really? IT'S GREAT IF HIMEJI-SAN CAN SEE IT IN REAL LIFE.”

“Eh…Akihisa-kun, you're willing to help me fulfill this dream?”

“Nn, if it's really cute, I'll definitely want to help out.”

“Yes! It's really cute! If Akihisa-kun's willing to help out, I think I can see it immediately!”

“I don't really know what's going on, but I'm looking forward to it too.”

“I understand! I'll call you again once the clothing's done!”

Clothing? What's the situation? But since Himeji-san said so, I think I should be able to see the cute thing she said.

“I see. So that's how Aki-kun digs his own grave.”

“Hm? Nee-san, what did you say?”

“Nothing. It's not really something bad to me. You don't have to worry about it.”

“?”

What's going on? I suddenly had a chill on my back.

“Anyway, I'll go wash my face then.”

Forget about nee-san. Since Himeji-san's here in my house, I can't possibly show them such a sleepy expression. Better wash my face to keep myself awake.

Leaving behind nee-san and Himeji-san at the bed, I was ready to leave my room and head to the basin. At this moment, I randomly overheard Himeji-san and nee-san talking to each other.

“Speaking of which, Mizuki-chan. That was really a dangerous thing you just did. How can a girl of this age enter a guy's room like that?”

“Eh? It's dangerous? I guess there shouldn't be anything to worry about if it's Akihisa-kun.”

“No no no. Read this book yourself. If you're not careful, that Aki-kun will do something heavens forbid to Mizuki-chan!”

“WA…WAAHHH!!”

I hurriedly returned to my room and found Himeji-san blushing as she couldn't turn her eyes away from my reference books (ero-books), and I ended up wasting time dealing with my sister who was ready to punish me.

But speaking of which, those two, who had to walk out reluctantly as I was changing, may be living in another world with different common sense…

☆

“And now, for another news report. We will now provide you the latest reports from our local correspondent, reporter Nakanishi, on the large-scale strike that happened in the foreign international airport. Nakanishi-san. Are there any new developments about the strike?”

“Yes, this is Nakanishi. After the sudden airport strike yesterday, it appeared that there was still a large divide between the worker union and the finance union, and there's no sign of any improvements soon. Many tourists could only stay in the hotels near the airports until they start operations again, but many of them were already fully booked, and some tourists could only stay there—”

Fried salmon, omelette, miso soup and rice. Beside the table of extremely ordinary breakfast, the reporter's voice continued to echo.

“Looks like the planes can't fly for the time being.”

Nee-san, who was removing the bones of the salmon with her chopsticks, said.

“Looks that way…it's great if papa and mama comes back sooner…”

On the other side, Himeji-san looked worried as she put her chopsticks down and stared at the screen.

Why is Himeji-san eating breakfast at our house? The answer's simple. Himeji-san's parents aren't at home, so nee-san invited her to stay at our house for the time being as she was worried about what would happen when a girl stays at home alone.

Himeji-san's parents seemed to have attended a friend's wedding, and ended up in the midst of the airport strike just when they were about to head home. As the plane couldn't take off, Himeji-san's parents couldn't go back. Himeji-san knew of this news after the hotpot party at my house ended. Thus, she ended up staying at our house for the time being.

“You must be worried that they couldn't come back, right?”

“Yes…”

Himeji-san nodded her head in a somewhat dejected manner. Even though Himeji-san's mother seemed to have said that they would sightsee for a few days until the airport started operating again since the planes couldn't fly, this situation was really worrying.

“—I hope that mama wouldn't enjoy herself too much and say that she doesn't want to come back to Japan…”

Eh? Is Himeji-san worried about that?

“But it's good that they're in a place with rather good security. At least they won't feel bored staying there.”

“That's really worrying…in this situation, it's better to wait at the airport or hotel for the airport to resume operations…”

“Ahaha, it's better than being all worried. Actually, I really like this trait of Himeji-san's mother.”

“Eh…?”

In this situation, it couldn't be helped if she's so worried, but since an accident happened, it's better to do something to make oneself happy. I really like such straightforward and optimistic thinking.

“We, well, Akihisa-kun…”

“Hm? What is it?”

“A lot of people said that I'm like mama…”

“Heh~I see. Your mother must be really kind and courteous, right?”

“Yes, that's right. I expected Akihisa-kun to have such a response.”

Himeji-san looked at me as she started smiling…even though I say this, for some reason, I just felt that her smile wasn't shown in her eyes.

“Oh yeah, Himeji-san, what do you want to do today? Do you have any plans for today?”

“No, I don't really have any plans. What about you, Akihisa-kun?”

“Me? Of course I'm going to play games for the whole day—”

“Nee-san's lips suddenly feel so lonely.”

“—Not. I want to clean the house up and wash clothes too! It's rare to get good weather like this anyway!”

On seeing nee-san narrow her eyes, I hurriedly took back my words.

But the weather's really good today. Since Himeji-san's here as well, it seems to be a good choice to clean the house. If there's too much dust in the house, Himeji-san may not feel well again. Also, I have some things I really want to hide.

“Are you cleaning? Please let me help.”

“Hm? No, there's no need to worry about it. You can take a break, Himeji-san.”

“If not, I'll handle today's lunch…”

“Himeji-san will be in charge of the living room then, I'll clean the corridor and my room.”

“Eh? Ah, okay, I understand.”

Phew…that was nearly a big one.

It's better to let Himeji-san focus on cleaning instead of letting her be in charge of lunch. It's best if she can be so busy that she can't worry about food.

“Nee-san will be in charge of lunch then.”

“I CAN'T AVOID THE DANGER LIKE THAT!”

Although it's not as lethal as Himeji-san's cooking, nee-san's cooking can't be underestimated too.

“Can you two please leave the cooking to me? Nee-san's been busy at work recently too, right? Shouldn't you focus on your work instead of cooking?”

“Aki-kun, it's pointless to bluff me with such a reason. Nee-san's understands that Aki-kun won't allow nee-san into the kitchen.”

Nee-san looked at me unhappily.

Right, I got it. Since she said that, I'll ask a simple question.

“Then, nee-san, do you know how to wash rice?”

“…Aki-kun, are you treating nee-san as an idiot?”

The last time I asked nee-san to wash vegetables, she actually took out cleaning agent! Who'll dare believe that?

“Really. And you were wondering why there's a need to have a whetstone in a kitchen…”

“THAT'S TO SHARPEN THE KITCHEN KNIVES!”

Even though it was said to be 'a whetstone that would make it shine', it's not something suited to wash rice!

“Akira-san, that won't do. If you want to wash rice, you should use 'clean'—HACCHOO!!”

“'CLEAN'! HIMEJI-SAN, WERE YOU TRYING TO SAY 'CLEANSER'!?”

A cleanser's supposed to be used for cleaning utensils like plates! It can't, can't be used for washing rice!

This isn't good. There'll definitely be a huge tragedy if I let these two people into the kitchen…

“Anyway, let's start cleaning! I'll be in charge of lunch there!”

I used a somewhat forceful tone to say that.

“Really, Aki-kun. Since Aki-kun wants to cook for us like a little maid, nee-san should just endure it.”

“That's right. It can't be helped then.”

“Ahh, damn it! Aren't these two supposed to be really smart?”

I really felt that school exams should have an additional test subject called 'common sense'.

☆

“Alright. I said that I wanted to clean up…but what should I do?”

I looked around my own room and muttered to myself. Recently, because I've been living with nee-san, my room's more or less tidied up. Since there's no need to tidy up, I should just get the vacuum cleaner to clean the floor and wipe the table.

I took the cloth to wipe the window sills and the book shelf a few times. Uwah, to think it they're rather dirty. Looks like I have to be more serious in cleaning.

Since I have already started cleaning, I arranged the stuff on the book shelf and under the bed, and then took out the vacuum cleaner to suck up the dust that accumulated in the covert places before wiping the surface clean. After seeing my own room being gradually tidy, I just started to feel happy.

Just when I was dealing with the unexpected cleaning.

Dok dok dok.

“Akihisa-kun?”

A soft knocking on the door could be heard. On hearing this voice, I guess that it should be Himeji-san, right?

“Hm? What is it?”

I stopped and turned around. As expected, I saw her standing at the door. The door was open, and yet she knocked the door. That's really what the serious Himeji-san would do.

“It's rare to have such a nice day, so I want to take the blankets out. Can I borrow yours for a moment?”

Himeji-san said as she reached her hand out for that blanket on my bed.

“That's a good idea. A blanket that's basked in the sun should be rather comfy.”

I don't understand why, but a blanket that's basked under the sun would feel comfy. It's really a good idea to do so.

“I can smell the sun like that when I sleep.”

“That smell really makes me calm. It'll be all the more sweeter when I sleep~”

Thinking about it, I couldn't help but look forward to my sleep tonight.

“Then, I'll take the blanket over.”

“No need. A blanket's nothing really heavy. I can take it over now. Heh~!”

“Thank you, Himeji-san.”

“Ah, there's no need. This is nothing much. I'll take it and wash it too~”

Himeji-san carried the blanket and stuttered out of the room.

Orderly when cleaning and quick when doing things. Himeji-san will definitely become a great wife…if her husband can really cook.

“Okay, then…”

I look around the room, and then thought that I should clear the drawers.

And thus, I continued to clean the room.

After washing the pail and the cleaning cloth, I wanted to use this time to head to the balcony outside—

“Uwa…”

“?”

In the end, I found Himeji-san burying her face into the blanket that was just taken out of my room.

“Well…Himeji-san?”

“KYAAAAAHHHH!!??”

She screamed out, shocking me when I was the one who wanted to gain her attention. Eh? What just happened? Did I do something I shouldn't have done?

“AHHHH!! AKIHISA-KUN!? THI, THIS IS…YOU'RE MISTAKEN!”

Himeji-san frantically shook her hands as she tried to deny something in a flustered manner…eh? Was Himeji-san…secretly crying just now?

“Tha, that, Akihisa-kun! It's not what you thinking! I didn't use that excuse of borrow your blanket to hang it on the balcony. It, it's just that I accidentally—”

Is that so…Well, Himeji-san may look strong on the outside, but even after knowing that her parents shouldn't be in any danger as they're in a country with rather good security, it couldn't change the fact that her parents couldn't come back. She must be feeling anxious now, right? To be holding back her tears while hiding it behind out backs…

“Well, Himeji-san…”

“Ye, yes!”

“If you're willing, from tonight onwards…maybe you can sleep together with m—”

“Eh? EHHH! Wh, why are you saying this out of a sudden? We're living together, but being like this right from the start…well…I feel that it's a little daring!”

“—My sister.”

“Eh…Akihisa-kun, what are you mistaken about this time…”

If she's not willing to show her embarrassing side in front of me, it should be alright for her to talk it out with nee-san, right? Don't look at nee-san's irresponsible demeanour like that, she's still an adult, so she should definitely be able to ease that uneasy feeling in Himeji-san.

“Aki-kun, what did you say about me?”

“Ah, nee-san.”

Nee-san just so happened to be look at us from the living room. I entered the house and lowered my volume to explain to her what happened.

“Himeji-san's feeling uneasy now. If possible, can you sleep with her tonight, nee-san?”

Himeji-san slept alone in the guest room last night. Maybe she can calm down if someone's willing to sleep with her?

“I see, so that's how it is.”

Nee-san whispered back.

It's better not to talk about the reason now, right? If someone says 'let's sleep together since you look so lonely', I guess no one would answer 'I got it. I'll leave things to you then'.

“Mizuki-chan, how about you sleep with me tonight?”

“Ah, no…I don't really understand what's going on, but I guess Akihisa-kun must have been mistaken…”

“Mistaken…really? Like how?”

“Eh…it's…I actually…that, Akihisa-kun's…”

“To my?”

“Blanket…that…”

“To my blanket?”

“…No…it's nothing…”

““?””

It seemed like Himeji-san wanted to change the topic and made up a reason but couldn't think of a suitable one. She really doesn't need to worry about that.

“Then you should be alright with sleeping with me on the same bed, right? Aki-kun wouldn't sleep with me now. Last time, he would be happy when he could sleep with nee-san…”

“I was completely unwilling, okay? Nee-san, you forced me to sleep with you!”

She twisted my joint to somewhere impossible until I lost consciousness! This can't be brought over with just a simple 'sleeping sweetly'!

“Besides, once you sleep with me, I can assure you that you will be safe from that despicable lust of Aki-kun.”

“Hold on! Don't say it as some despicable lust! If you have to describe it, you should use…an overflow in abundance of youth—”

“—A lust to abuse housewives.”

“Or something like that…OI, THAT'S NOT IT!”

Overflowing in abundance of youth and a lust to abuse housewives? This expression would basically get me arrested by the cops!

“That's how it is, Mizuki-chan. To protect yourself, you're going to sleep with me in the same room.”

“Oh, okay…”

For some reason, it felt like my image was really belittled, but since I can let Himeji-san calm down slightly, I can only accept it silently.

“That's decided then. Nee-san, can you please move Himeji-san's blanket into your room? I think it's about time to start with lunch.”

“Got it.”

“Well, Akihisa-kun, if it's lunch, I think I…”

“No no no, it's alright you don't have to worry about it! Besides, don't you want to leave the blankets out in the sun, Himeji-san? I'll leave it to you then.”

I rebutted back without giving her a chance to response.

“Since you say so…”

Himeji-san looked really unhappy, but still nodded her head.

Alright, since I have to prepare lunch, let's prepare dinner too. I must take the first strike before Himeji-san wants to snatch the kitchen job.